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My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. I have walked with sailors, too confused to salute. The Nigerian National Petroleum Company is desirous of oil exploration in other parts of the world, however, because of certain regulations of the Nigerian Government, it is unable to move these funds to another region.You assistance is requested as a non-Nigerian citizen to assist the Nigerian National Petroleum Company, and also the Central Bank of Nigeria, in moving these funds out of Nigeria./ like Farmer...morbidity point = This doesn't work in English:) Maybe you can say: has extra titillation points because... My school is making me take a survey and the last question is an online submission to "describe yourself".Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. Far less so, so Officer, Lest you have some insight into this story, this novel, this broad-based version of real life in a broad-band world, the I suggest you step back and take a good look at me, and YOU tell ME who I am. Look, man, I respect what YOU do..I know what you've done. basically, it's made up of two separate words- "yours" and "elf". it's a mystery, and that's why so is yourself.(shamelessly stolen from jack handey.) Originally posted by weyland:maybe in order to understand yourself, we have to look at the word itself. 'ie talking about their sisters, or asking about their cross dressing spouses' I kind of feel bad about it. I have composed symphonies so beautiful that several members of the audience damaged their eardrums in an attempt to deafen themselves, as they knew they would never hear anything so beautiful again. Then we could do the stupiditys and hanging around. Followed are the verses from the Dropkick Murphys "Kiss me, I'm Shitfaced"-----------------------I play in a band We're the best in the land We're big in both Chelsea and France I play one mean guitar and then score at the bar There's a line of chicks waiting for their chance So come on now honey, I'll make you feel pretty These other gals mean nothing to me Let's finish these drinks and be gone for the night'Cause I'm more than a handfull you'll see I can bench press a car I'm an ex football starwith degrees from both Harvard and Yale Girls just can't keep up I'm a real love machine I've had far better sex while in jail I designed the Sears tower I make two grand an hour I cook the world's best duck flambe I'll take the pick of the litter And girls jockey for me I don't need these lines to get laid I'm the man of the night A real ladies delight See, my figure was chisled from stone One more for the gal then I'll escort her home Come last call, I'm never alone I own a house on the hill with a red water bed It puts Hugh Heffnor's mansion to shame With girls by the pool and italian sports cars I'm just here in this dump for the game Ahh, fuck it. I'm a pitiful sight And I ain't all that bright I'm definitly not chisled from stone I'm a cheat and a liar No woman's desire I'll probably die cold and alone But just give me a chance Cause deep down inside I swear I got a big heart of gold I'm a monogamous man No more one night stands Come on, honey, let me take you home Describe Yourself-------------------------------------Date FROM: Mr.I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. Got some skill and some clothes, got a badge and a gun, yeah. basically, it's made up of two separate words- "yours" and "elf". it's a mystery, and that's why so is yourself.(shamelessly stolen from jack handey.) obviously the words "yours" and "elf" have meaning when used separately. Weapons Inspector described me as quote"incorrigible". -- View image here: I have this problem, and I really don't know why, where my mouth just seems to run off (in a bad way) everytime I'm working with someone from a foreign military. Ben Ahore Central Bank of Nigeria Lagos, Nigeria[Phone Number]TO: Dupe Address Dear Sir: I have been requested by the Nigerian National Petroleum Company to contact you for assistance in resolving a matter.Well, this submission is open to all members on campus.What the best "describe yourself" answer that you have ever seen or heard?

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When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. i am intrinsically no goodi have a heart that's made of woodi am only biding timeonly reciting memorized linesand i'm not fit to touch the hem of your garmentno, no i'm not fit to touch the hem of your garmenti have no love but only goalshow very empty is my soulit is a soul that feels no thrilla soul that could easily killand i'm not fit to touch the hem of your garmentno, no i'm not fit to touch the hem of your garment maybe in order to understand yourself, we have to look at the word itself. I was introduced to the French school of cooking by a wizened Oriental master over a campfire. Then and now my colleagues and me frequent the discotechs and dance long. In my state of dominion our people prosper much as you. Also, I and relative family members eat in the open on holidays. Should you do the same it would be in the benefit of myself.

On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. As I recollect, we haven't had problems around these parts since, oh, let me think, the last time you parked your car down the street, and pretended that WE were the problem. I doubt you understand, much less respect the basic tenets of that credo..brother, my savior, protector, how's that ego? basically, it's made up of two separate words- "yours" and "elf". it's a mystery, and that's why so is yourself.(shamelessly stolen from jack handey.) Originally posted by weyland:maybe in order to understand yourself, we have to look at the word itself. I have recieved an award from the IRS on the beauty and prose of my tax returns. It would be greatly in my place to be pleasured if we met at a time. Take my sincerity, Gerwolla I've resisted the temptation to post lyrics for long enough.

Actually, I have never watched it but I have heard about it when MTV-Spain broadcasted the USA's version of the show dubbed into Spanish.

It was a dating show where some men and women competed for the love of Tila Tequila.

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